ZOMBA DISTRICT, Malawi – Siphati was 14 when her parents arranged her marriage to a 26-year-old tobacco farmer from Mozambique. She wanted to finish school but her parents would not let her. They did not value her education and were more interested in receiving the money the man was paying them to secure the marriage.
Siphati was terrified. She had heard of girls who married and risked death because their bodies were not ready for childbirth. She tried to resist the arrangement but her parents abused her physically and denied her food until eventually, she had no choice but to go with the man.
On her first night with her husband – a total stranger – Siphati trembled in fear. He beat her for the first time that night and he began making excessive sexual demands. “He would ask me for bathing water but beat me because the water was too hot,” she says, “and when I tried to cool down the water, he would beat me for making the water too cold. Sometimes he had sex with me seven times a day.” He denied her food and beat her almost daily. “He was never nice to me,” she says.
Taking action for Siphati
Siphati became linked with Youth Network and Counselling (YONECO) and the Malawi Girl Guide Association (MAGGA), both of them Safeguard Young People (SYP) implementing partners. When a YONECO member visited Siphati, her desperate situation was observed and the organization decided to take action. They confronted her husband and when they threatened to report him to the police, he fled to Mozambique. Then they visited Siphati’s parents to ask them to receive her back into their home, but her parents refused.
Siphati was three months pregnant when her marriage ended. She describes her parents’ reaction: “Because I was pregnant and the father was not there, they would not help me. They said: ‘We did our part. We raised you up until you were 14. Look at the rest of the girls who are giving birth to children. Some of them are 12 or 13 years old and you’re 14 – why can’t you sustain a marriage?’”
Changing minds, winning hearts
Siphati spent four nights at MAGGA before her parents allowed her to return home, but she was not warmly welcomed. Her parents were angry with her and they beat her and denied her food and soap. All the while, the SYP partners continued to support her. They visited Siphati’s parents every Saturday for months to convince them to treat her with the respect and care she deserves.
“The people from YONECO and MAGGA never gave up,” says a grateful Siphati. “They made my parents understand. They told them, you should raise this child just like you did when she was young. She is still a girl at 14 and you should keep raising her until she’s able to finish her education.” It was a lengthy process but eventually Siphati’s parents softened and accepted her and her child.
When her son was six months old Siphati returned to school, with her parents’ support. She is thrilled that they have come to love her son and she is now able to raise him in a stable home.
Marriage rate raised to 18 years
Malawi has one of the highest rates of child marriage in the world; half of all girls are married before their eighteenth birthday. Fannie Kachale, Director of Reproductive Health for the Ministry of Health, explains: “These girls are at great risk of sexual violence and complications from childbirth or even death. Obstetric fistula is common among our young mothers.”
The President of Malawi recently passed a law that raised the marriage age from 16 to 18 years; SYP was among the many organizations that conducted high-level advocacy to see that change realized. But sustained effort is needed to ensure that the high-level policy is translated into local action, especially in rural communities where high youth unemployment prevents parents from believing that education for their daughters is a worthy investment.
Recognizing the value of education
Siphati does not want anyone else to endure the heartbreak and pain she suffered. She wants SYP and its partners to sensitize other parents to protect their children from early marriage. Her son is now two years old; when he grows up, Siphati wants him to surprise her. She hopes to send him to the nearby Chancellor College. “I want people to look at my past and see where I came from and where I sent my son. I want him to be a role model,” she says.
These days, Siphati has little to do with men – for now. She wants to concentrate on building a better life for herself and her son. She will never again marry because of anyone’s influence. She will wait, she says, for “good love”.
By Meaghan Charkowick
